Fool for Love

I guess its pretty obvious to most people that I am extremely fond of Aggrion. I guess its pretty obvious to everyone except Aggrion. I decided to make an effort during the recent celebrations of love. I undertook some simple errands and was rewarded with a lovely red dress. I gathered together some pretty pink petals and fireworks that burst as a pink heart, all I needed was an activity that would provide a talking point and set the tone I was hoping for. I had seen lots of love-struck couples huddled together under heart-patterned umbrellas eating from hampers packed with champagne, strawberries, chocolates... Yes, a romantic picnic was ideal for what I had in mind.

Ideal but illusive. I spent days and days trying to track down a romantic picnic basket but it was not meant to be and as the festival drew to a close all had been sold or given away, an omen perhaps? Although disappointed I was determined not to let the season pass us by unmarked. So I made do with what I had and we enjoyed a pleasant meal of dried meat and chilled wine.

Pleasant.

He admired the dress and enjoyed the petals and fireworks. He even brought along a fancy light beam, not quite candlelight but better than nothing. We laughed about how rarely we wear anything other than our armour and finished our wine, then I pulled on my robes and armour and packed away my dress and we continued to explore the Howling Fjord.

Should I take a hint? Is Aggrion really so oblivious or is he just playing at it so as not to risk hurting my feelings?

Oscar nominee?

I have a confession to make, I'm prone to the odd bit of reminiscing. Often these moments descend when I'm alone in one of the many bland tavern rooms where I seem to spend so much of my time. Of course a few glasses of the local beverage often have their part to play....

So having spent a few hours pouring over my collection of photos, I thought I might share with you some of the more memorable moments in my...uh...acting career.

My oldest disguise was during a foray into Dire Maul, where I found myself dressed as a Gordok Ogre. I particularly enjoyed the dancing, although I think my audience would have preferred less thrusting and wobbling of the belly.

I'd barely been through the portal and in Outland a few weeks before I was sticking feathers everywhere for my Arakkoa disguise. I couldn't help but cackle and rub my hands...umm claws...together but the shambling gate is deeply impractical.

Next I was posing, I uh mean undertaking serious espionage, in the guise of a Blood Elf. I must be honest, against all of my better judgement, I rather enjoyed these disguises. It's always interesting to see the world from a different viewpoint and I have a certain sympathy for the pure arrogance of the species. Plus they are very pretty, Aggrion certainly wore his disguise extremely well. It was nice to be able to look him in the eyes without needing him to sit down! However, it took weeks for my body to recover from the contortions I needed to perform in order to achieve their amazingly bad posture!

I definitely preferred the first look.

And now for my favourite disguise. This is, indeed, Aggrion and I hiding in crates. I found it incredibly cramped and smelly, and I have absolutely no idea how Aggrion managed to squeeze himself in, I do remember it taking quite some time to get him back out though! I'm still surprised our enemies didn't hear the whispering between the two innocuous little boxes that had quite suddenly appeared on the nearby wall, especially when one of them got a fit of the giggles and nearly shook herself onto the floor!

The wilds of Northrend have been no less demanding of my acting skills, I found myself dressed as a Worg whilst exploring the Howling Fjord. Not quite as uncomfortable as the crates but I'm not really sure why the costume had to come complete with its own family of fleas. And boy, do Worgs stink! Or maybe that was Aggrion...

And finally, the reason for this little trip down memory lane was my latest undercover operation. Sent by Serinar to investigate the Cult of the Damned in the Obsidian Dragonshrine of Dragonblight we were given disguises that took us by surprise. Aggrion's robes suited his shapely form far better than mine....

Divided?

It's becoming apparent that Aggrion is missing Jhorlia. I use my felhound more these days and Jhorlia is rarely summoned out of her particular hell dimension. He has commented on this more than once, but I'm trying to ignore it, I was hoping my company would be enough. During our more recent excursions I have begun to wonder whether he needs my company at all. He needs little help with the general hack 'n slash of exploration and my support tends to come solely in the shape of Healthstones and Soulstones.

Truth be told, I am concerned that his experience has far outstripped mine. Prior to the discovery of Northrend we spent some time apart while I tended to various chores. Aggrion was drafted to raid areas such as Serpent Shrine Cavern and Tempest Keep. I am not sure exactly what happened on these excursions but he returned to me a changed Nightelf. His shoulders seem broader, he carries himself straighter and his combat skills are greatly improved. He learned a lot in that time, whilst I simply trod water.

I would hate to think that that time has created a divide between us. I've hinted at my concerns in off-hand comments, but he has not seemed to notice, although subtly is not his strong point! Some say that Northrend is a new beginning for us all and I will grab that chance with both hands and rip the soul from it! ;)

I'm back!

Hi!

Did you miss me? I know, I've been really bad at keeping you up to date but the past few months have been so busy I've barely had time to feed my Felsteed! Let me bring you up to date.

With Aggrion at my side (or about 30 yards in front of me) I've explored most of Outland. We battled the vicious beasts that roam Hellfire Peninsula, helped the Sporelings in Zangarmarsh, cleansed the barren wastes of Terokkar, marvelled at the beauty of Nagrand, negotiated the spikes of Blade's Edge Mountains, reunited the elements in Shadowmoon and had not long arrived in Netherstorm when rumours reached us of the discovery of a new continent....Northrend.

Aggrion, rather than excited by this news, seemed to lose interest in continuing to adventure and took himself away. I finally tracked him down to a corner of the Worlds' End tavern in Shattrath. To be honest it didn't take very long, but I decided to give him some 'alone time' (read consuming significant quantities of local red wine time). I have, on occasion, joined Aggrion on these drinking sessions, but that is another story for another time.

"Come on! There's a whole new place to explore!" I enthused, jumping up and down on the table in front of him.

"Hrumph" He grunted back to me, which I took to be his way of saying "Yes, I'd love to accompany my favourite little Gnome to investigate the new lands." He's a Nelf of few words.

I bounced of the table and started to tug at him. "Come on then! Lets go now! Hurry up!".

He sighed exaggeratedly and tried to hide a smile as he rose to his feet and let me lead him to the Stormwind Portal.

The new docks in Stormwind were breathtaking and we spent a few hours exploring before realising that we had to get a boat from Menthil Harbour in Wetlands instead...some signposts wouldn't go amiss!

Valgarde is set in a deep chasm on the Southeast coast of Northrend overlooked by the breathtaking Utgarde fortress. Within minutes of arriving in the town we were drafted to help deal with an almost constant attack from the Vrykul to the East.

I think Aggrion quite admires them, the half giants are accomplished warriors and a formidable foe. He does so enjoy any opportunity to truly test his combat skills. Personally, I think the world needs less giants. We recently met the Tuskarr who are far more to my liking being smaller and pretty cute looking...not as cute as me of course! But they do smell of fish and I'm really not a big fan of fish or water for that matter, doesn't suit my fiery nature.

But it is good to be adventuring again!

Hellfire Peninsula Wildlife - Up close and personal

I described my arrival in Outland a few months ago. Almost as soon as you gain your bearings after setting foot through the portal, you are sent off on a gryphon ride to the outpost of Honor Hold. It's a town under siege, with regular attacks from the skies as it is bombarded by what appear to be small meteors, shaking the buildings and forcing all those in the vicinity under cover.

Honor Hold sits in the centre of the Hellfire Peninsula, a barren and uninviting wasteland. Rumours are that it was once a beautiful land, but there's no evidence of that now. Its rocky, rust red terrain show the ravages of war and years of abuse by the Orcs that now inhabit and control the majority of the region.

It is no surprise that the Peninsula is an extremely dangerous place for any adventurer even putting aside the various warring factions, the local wildlife is understandably aggressive. Two-headed vultures can be found near the many bones that scatter the area. I watched in horror when, after I had killed one of a flock, another bird wasted no time in swooping down on the corpse of its recently departed brethren and began tearing it apart with little more than a warning "Caw!" in my direction.

Helboars roam the wastes and provide both a good source of food and of course soulstones for a wandering Warlock like me!

However, Ravagers are by far my most disliked of the local Hellfire fauna. Ravagers are brightly coloured, four-legged creatures, that bring to mind a bizarre experiment crossing an insect and a sand worm. They skitter and scuttle in a manner that makes even this hardened Gnome's skin crawl. You can imagine my dismay when they were appearing all across the lands as hunters trained them as pets. People think that Warlock's have pet related issues, but I can assure you that we have standards, it seems that Hunters, some at least, do not.

The inhabitant of Hellfire that strikes fear into the heart of any sane and life respecting adventurer though is the Fel Reaver. They are massive machines that stalk the wasteland at an alarming speed. As they approach the very ground shakes and vibrates and the air is filled with a haunting metallic noise. The only sensible thing to do under such circumstances is find out where the creature is coming from and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction!

Sounds simple? Well somehow, despite their great size these creatures are supernaturally stealthy and seem able to creep up on even the most alert explorer. I mean we can't be constantly looking around us can we? Maybe you're helping to cull the local Helboar population, or watching a flock of Bonestripper Buzzards peck at the flesh of one of their number, or maybe just running away from Ravagers....

Either way most people will feel the ground shake, hear the grinding of metal on metal and desperately twirling on the spot to judge where its coming from glance up just in time to find a giant Fel Reaver foot about to squash them into the ground.....

.....at least that's what happened to me one fateful day. My warrior friend, Aggrion, could only stand at a safe distance and watch as his favourite Gnome was ground into the red dirt of Hellfire Peninsula. As soon as it was safe to do so he helped me, grumbling, to my feet and stood at a prudent distance whilst I dusted myself down as the air about me turned a subtle shade of blue from the words pouring out of my now very grumpy mouth. After giving me time to calm down Aggrion stepped forward and tentatively suggested we continue on our way to the nearby Temple of Telhamat where I could recover fully perhaps over a cool drink...

A few skins of Filtered Draenic Water later and I was almost ready to laugh about it. Aggrion, however, kept his peace, knowing better than to laugh at my misfortune before I was ready to join in. "You just watched me die!" I pouted at him teasing, "You should avenge my death!" The serious nature of the look he returned to me sent me into a fit of giggles as I practically fell off the comfortable sofa on which I was perched.

So, feeling much better we set off into the wilds once more to continue running errands for the local population. We were getting a lot done and exploring much of the western side of the Peninsula, meeting all sorts of strange people and creatures, but nothing that came close to the elite monstrosity that had so unceremoniously squashed me!

I had all but forgotten about the earlier instance when to my horror I heard the haunting noise in the distance. As the ground shook I looked wildly about me, determined not to fall victim again. Then I spotted the great Fel Reaver not more than 100 yards away. I had to rub my eyes because I did not believe what I was seeing, had I taken too much of my life source through Life Tap? Had we had one too many Filtered Draenic Waters? Blinking quickly I looked again. No, my eyes were not deceiving me. Aggrion was indeed the small figure, sword slicing at the tree-trunk like ankle of the Fel Reaver .

I watched, mesmerised as the Warrior spun and jabbed, feinted and thrust at the monster. It became clear that this was no mistaken battle, Aggrion had consciously initiated this fight. I feared for him, he couldn't hope to best this creature, and yet I knew I would be be no help, so I stood, mouth open in shock as he put every ounce of energy into doing at least some damage to the beast.

It was a scene that I shall never forget, it lasted but moments and yet seemed to stretch for hours. Finally, as though tiring of this game, the Fel Reaver raised a great foot, which seconds later came slamming down on the bothersome Night Elf at its feet. Without a backward glance the demon continued on its seemingly mindless march across the wasteland and was lost from view.


I ran to the broken and battered body of Aggrion and he must have seen the question in my eyes. "What on earth were you doing!?" I shouted at him.

"I was avenging your death" he stated simply before losing consciousness.

I made a mental note never to joke with Aggrion where honour and combat were involved.

Deviate delight?

As everyone does from time to time, I went through a rather quiet period not so long ago. Whilst my adventuring was on hold for a short while I thought I might explore some of the other delights that Azeroth has to offer an inquisitive warlock such as myself.

A friend of mine is a very fine cook and managed to acquire a rare recipe known as Deviate Delight. Rumour has it that those who feast upon this dish will find themselves under the influence of a most powerful glamour spell.

Now, whilst I am deeply proud of my Gnomishness I do occasionally tire of the constant jokes and jibes about my height and general size, as I believe I have mentioned before. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be the size of a human. To possess a shape and proportion I could only dream off. To be nearly tall enough to look my fellow adventurers, especially Aggrion in the eyes! Well, you don't get to be a great Warlock without some mad scientific experiments and of course the engineer in me found the whole concept fascinating!

I petitioned said friend and she kindly cooked up a batch of piping hot Deviate Delights for me.
I happened to be in Stormwind at the time and decided to take myself off to the relative quiet of the Mage Quarter to conduct my initial tasting of this strange fare. I must confess to being quite nervous about trying out this food, with any potion that promises glamour there are bound to be side effects, and just because this dish smelt divine and looked delicious, in no way guaranteed its safety! However, I am a scientist and thus I took a deep a breath and took a bite.

For a good while I felt no different. I actually began to believe that the experiment had failed and that this was a bad batch. Then, as I raised my hands to take another bite I noticed the fingers were longer and slimmer than before. Looking down I noticed my clothes had changed. I was no longer wearing my usual robes, but instead an extremely low cut pirate shirt. And of course I couldn't help but notice that I had good reason for wearing such a revealing outfit!

Excitably I stood to try and get a better look of myself. I was, for all who cared to look, a pirate! "Arrrrrrr me hearties!" I cried, laughing to myself as one of the locals took a detour to avoid crossing my path, eyeing me nervously.

I tried to dance the Hornpipe, but found I just danced the Macarena. Still it's quite a fun dance. And made a change from my usual moves. What would Aggrion think of the new me? Would he be able to look me in the eyes ;) Considering this I sought out a mirror, wanting to get a closer look at this...new look. Finally finding one I nearly cried. Surely a face only a mother could love!? What was I to do? I couldn't go to Outlands looking like this!!! Where were my beautiful green eyes, my cute face? I'd even welcome back my shaggy brown hair! Anything but this ugly mug....

I calmed myself. "Think Ary, think..." then almost unconsciously my hand came to rest on an antidote, kindly prepared for me by my friend. Sighing in deep relief I took a swig and held my breath....

One, long, minute, later I felt a tingling sensation all over and when I looked down I was back to my normal self again. Not quite feeling out of the woods yet I ran into the nearest shop and scared the poor serving girl half to death with demands that she describe me and requests for assurances that I was not, indeed, wearing a pirates hat! "No, no! You're a gnome! Honestly! Please do not hurt me...." she cried, desperately trying to back away from the small whirlwind I had evidently become. Finally I took her word for it and gave her a few coins and a health stone as an attempt at apology for my strange behaviour. I left the shop, still shaking, and vowed never to try the Deviate Delight again!

But....I am a curious gnome. And a few days later the now thoroughly cold, but surprisingly fresh, dish, locked away in my bank vault, was attracting my attention more and more. I reasoned with myself that no true experimentalist would allow one bad experience to knock them from their path. If things go wrong I should pick myself up and try again. This motto had gotten me through my life so far, why should I give up now. And for vanity of all things! I was not so vain that I would let a mere pirate related disaster stop me from exploring the unknown, surely!? What was I? A Gnome or a Succubus!?

This time I decided to see if being in my home city of Ironforge would bring better luck. Retreating to the security of the Forlorn Caverns I found a darkened corner in which to try, once again, the Deviate (for sure) Delight (hmmm). Nervously I took a bite and another and another, as I finished the whole dish I concluded that perhaps it wouldn't work when cold. I could barely contain the involuntary sigh of relief as I realised that I was spared another ordeal without having to back out of important experimentation!

Feeling slightly warm and in need of some fresh air I wandered out through the City gates into the crisp early morning. As I walked I started to feel a little light headed, my breathing felt stifled, almost as if.....raising my hand I felt a scarf around my face....a scarf!? What on earth!? I looked down to see my now human form was clad head to toe in supple black leather. I was, not a pirate but an assassin. And an attractive looking one at that!

Well now, this was a great improvement on my previous experience and I have to say I spent a long while trying out my new self. I quite enjoyed the looks I got from the passing male humans and Nelfs and danced the Macarena with glee. The human cheering is not nearly as nice as my Gnomish cheer, but I loved the jumping. Humans sit so neatly and move so gracefully. It was definitely an experience worth waiting for.

I couldn't wait to share it with Aggrion! I wasted no time, fearful that the spell would leave before I reached Honor Hold where he was currently abiding. My Felsteed was a little nervy at first, but soon recognised my scent and soothing tones and allowed me to ride her, grumbling only a little at the added weight. Racing against the clock we finally made it through the Dark Portal and mounted a Gryphon to take us to the outpost town.

The creature landed and I rushed to the doorway of the Inn, excited to see Aggrion's reaction, I walked around the corner. He was sitting at a table with a mug of ale, he glanced up briefly as I entered the room, but not recognising me, returned to gazing into the fire. I paused. Suddenly aware of what I was doing. Did I really believe that my appearance was so important? Did I really feel that I had to change myself so much for someone? I was a Gnome Warlock, not a human assassin, and proud of it!

Smiling to myself I stepped back around the corner, took a sip of the antidote and waited to return to my true form. As I did I took a deep breath and rounded the corner greeting Aggrion with a bright "Hi!". He looked up from his ale and smiled back, waving me over to join him. I climbed on an empty chair and settled down next to him, sighing as I too gazed on the flickering flames. Absently I patted the remaining Deviate Delight, wrapped carefully in my pocket, sure that one day it would come in handy. But not today.

Gnomish Mounts

Gnomes and their mounts are the butt of many jokes throughout Azeroth. Our racial steed is, wait for it, a mechanical bird, I think an Ostrich to be precise. Yes, you heard right, a mechanical Ostrich, otherwise known as a Mechanostrider. Now, being an engineer, I have no issues with mechanical beings. But creaking and clanking around on a large, metal bird just doesn't suit my Warlock image.
Luckily for me, a Warlock learns to summon their very own fiery Felsteed! This is a creature of darkness, a true mare of the night, perhaps a carrier of those dreams that wake you in the blackest hours filled with fear. Summoned from another realm they seem content to carry mighty Warlock's about their business.

I absolutely adore my Felsteed, and I enjoy few things more than galloping across the wilds, the wind whipping my hair as the sparks fly from her eyes and hooves.

But I'm no fool. I know how ridiculous I truly look, perched up on the back of my black steed. A tiny little gnome figure, clutching at the non-flaming bits of mane. Sometimes staying on can be a challenge, we don't appear to summon a saddle or reigns which makes things...interesting. My inner thigh muscles are the envy of any body builder!

Imagine my utter amazement when, waiting for a boat at Theramore harbor, I happened upon a fellow Warlock. This one was of human decent, and thus a good deal taller than myself. But this was not the cause of my amazement. No, it was the fact that my Felsteed was noticeably larger than the human's... Yes, this is totally true. The other was not shrunk or changed due to some spell. The powers that be had seen fit to make my Gnomish form appear yet smaller and more dimished by placing me on a larger than average Felsteed! Sadly, I don't have a picture to share with you as I was far too busy laughing at the Human for being on a smaller horse than me whilst muttering about how 'size does matter...'

Do not worry though, I may, you'll be astounded to hear, have found the solution to all the Gnome mount problems. A few days later I was in Ironforge, where I met with a Hunter friend of mine who had recently completed a task in Outland and had been gifted a pet as reward.

What do you think?