Deviate delight?

As everyone does from time to time, I went through a rather quiet period not so long ago. Whilst my adventuring was on hold for a short while I thought I might explore some of the other delights that Azeroth has to offer an inquisitive warlock such as myself.

A friend of mine is a very fine cook and managed to acquire a rare recipe known as Deviate Delight. Rumour has it that those who feast upon this dish will find themselves under the influence of a most powerful glamour spell.

Now, whilst I am deeply proud of my Gnomishness I do occasionally tire of the constant jokes and jibes about my height and general size, as I believe I have mentioned before. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be the size of a human. To possess a shape and proportion I could only dream off. To be nearly tall enough to look my fellow adventurers, especially Aggrion in the eyes! Well, you don't get to be a great Warlock without some mad scientific experiments and of course the engineer in me found the whole concept fascinating!

I petitioned said friend and she kindly cooked up a batch of piping hot Deviate Delights for me.
I happened to be in Stormwind at the time and decided to take myself off to the relative quiet of the Mage Quarter to conduct my initial tasting of this strange fare. I must confess to being quite nervous about trying out this food, with any potion that promises glamour there are bound to be side effects, and just because this dish smelt divine and looked delicious, in no way guaranteed its safety! However, I am a scientist and thus I took a deep a breath and took a bite.

For a good while I felt no different. I actually began to believe that the experiment had failed and that this was a bad batch. Then, as I raised my hands to take another bite I noticed the fingers were longer and slimmer than before. Looking down I noticed my clothes had changed. I was no longer wearing my usual robes, but instead an extremely low cut pirate shirt. And of course I couldn't help but notice that I had good reason for wearing such a revealing outfit!

Excitably I stood to try and get a better look of myself. I was, for all who cared to look, a pirate! "Arrrrrrr me hearties!" I cried, laughing to myself as one of the locals took a detour to avoid crossing my path, eyeing me nervously.

I tried to dance the Hornpipe, but found I just danced the Macarena. Still it's quite a fun dance. And made a change from my usual moves. What would Aggrion think of the new me? Would he be able to look me in the eyes ;) Considering this I sought out a mirror, wanting to get a closer look at this...new look. Finally finding one I nearly cried. Surely a face only a mother could love!? What was I to do? I couldn't go to Outlands looking like this!!! Where were my beautiful green eyes, my cute face? I'd even welcome back my shaggy brown hair! Anything but this ugly mug....

I calmed myself. "Think Ary, think..." then almost unconsciously my hand came to rest on an antidote, kindly prepared for me by my friend. Sighing in deep relief I took a swig and held my breath....

One, long, minute, later I felt a tingling sensation all over and when I looked down I was back to my normal self again. Not quite feeling out of the woods yet I ran into the nearest shop and scared the poor serving girl half to death with demands that she describe me and requests for assurances that I was not, indeed, wearing a pirates hat! "No, no! You're a gnome! Honestly! Please do not hurt me...." she cried, desperately trying to back away from the small whirlwind I had evidently become. Finally I took her word for it and gave her a few coins and a health stone as an attempt at apology for my strange behaviour. I left the shop, still shaking, and vowed never to try the Deviate Delight again!

But....I am a curious gnome. And a few days later the now thoroughly cold, but surprisingly fresh, dish, locked away in my bank vault, was attracting my attention more and more. I reasoned with myself that no true experimentalist would allow one bad experience to knock them from their path. If things go wrong I should pick myself up and try again. This motto had gotten me through my life so far, why should I give up now. And for vanity of all things! I was not so vain that I would let a mere pirate related disaster stop me from exploring the unknown, surely!? What was I? A Gnome or a Succubus!?

This time I decided to see if being in my home city of Ironforge would bring better luck. Retreating to the security of the Forlorn Caverns I found a darkened corner in which to try, once again, the Deviate (for sure) Delight (hmmm). Nervously I took a bite and another and another, as I finished the whole dish I concluded that perhaps it wouldn't work when cold. I could barely contain the involuntary sigh of relief as I realised that I was spared another ordeal without having to back out of important experimentation!

Feeling slightly warm and in need of some fresh air I wandered out through the City gates into the crisp early morning. As I walked I started to feel a little light headed, my breathing felt stifled, almost as if.....raising my hand I felt a scarf around my face....a scarf!? What on earth!? I looked down to see my now human form was clad head to toe in supple black leather. I was, not a pirate but an assassin. And an attractive looking one at that!

Well now, this was a great improvement on my previous experience and I have to say I spent a long while trying out my new self. I quite enjoyed the looks I got from the passing male humans and Nelfs and danced the Macarena with glee. The human cheering is not nearly as nice as my Gnomish cheer, but I loved the jumping. Humans sit so neatly and move so gracefully. It was definitely an experience worth waiting for.

I couldn't wait to share it with Aggrion! I wasted no time, fearful that the spell would leave before I reached Honor Hold where he was currently abiding. My Felsteed was a little nervy at first, but soon recognised my scent and soothing tones and allowed me to ride her, grumbling only a little at the added weight. Racing against the clock we finally made it through the Dark Portal and mounted a Gryphon to take us to the outpost town.

The creature landed and I rushed to the doorway of the Inn, excited to see Aggrion's reaction, I walked around the corner. He was sitting at a table with a mug of ale, he glanced up briefly as I entered the room, but not recognising me, returned to gazing into the fire. I paused. Suddenly aware of what I was doing. Did I really believe that my appearance was so important? Did I really feel that I had to change myself so much for someone? I was a Gnome Warlock, not a human assassin, and proud of it!

Smiling to myself I stepped back around the corner, took a sip of the antidote and waited to return to my true form. As I did I took a deep breath and rounded the corner greeting Aggrion with a bright "Hi!". He looked up from his ale and smiled back, waving me over to join him. I climbed on an empty chair and settled down next to him, sighing as I too gazed on the flickering flames. Absently I patted the remaining Deviate Delight, wrapped carefully in my pocket, sure that one day it would come in handy. But not today.

Gnomish Mounts

Gnomes and their mounts are the butt of many jokes throughout Azeroth. Our racial steed is, wait for it, a mechanical bird, I think an Ostrich to be precise. Yes, you heard right, a mechanical Ostrich, otherwise known as a Mechanostrider. Now, being an engineer, I have no issues with mechanical beings. But creaking and clanking around on a large, metal bird just doesn't suit my Warlock image.
Luckily for me, a Warlock learns to summon their very own fiery Felsteed! This is a creature of darkness, a true mare of the night, perhaps a carrier of those dreams that wake you in the blackest hours filled with fear. Summoned from another realm they seem content to carry mighty Warlock's about their business.

I absolutely adore my Felsteed, and I enjoy few things more than galloping across the wilds, the wind whipping my hair as the sparks fly from her eyes and hooves.

But I'm no fool. I know how ridiculous I truly look, perched up on the back of my black steed. A tiny little gnome figure, clutching at the non-flaming bits of mane. Sometimes staying on can be a challenge, we don't appear to summon a saddle or reigns which makes things...interesting. My inner thigh muscles are the envy of any body builder!

Imagine my utter amazement when, waiting for a boat at Theramore harbor, I happened upon a fellow Warlock. This one was of human decent, and thus a good deal taller than myself. But this was not the cause of my amazement. No, it was the fact that my Felsteed was noticeably larger than the human's... Yes, this is totally true. The other was not shrunk or changed due to some spell. The powers that be had seen fit to make my Gnomish form appear yet smaller and more dimished by placing me on a larger than average Felsteed! Sadly, I don't have a picture to share with you as I was far too busy laughing at the Human for being on a smaller horse than me whilst muttering about how 'size does matter...'

Do not worry though, I may, you'll be astounded to hear, have found the solution to all the Gnome mount problems. A few days later I was in Ironforge, where I met with a Hunter friend of mine who had recently completed a task in Outland and had been gifted a pet as reward.

What do you think?

Through the looking glass

Stepping through the looking glass is almost exactly how it felt actually! And the similarities between myself and Alice with her blond waves and pretty blue and white dress are uncanny...no really :)

I met with Aggrion at Nethergarde Keep and we rode down to the Dark Portal in the Blasted Lands. It really is an impressive and awe inspiring sight, even to an experienced Warlock like me! I felt quite tiny as we gazed over the wasteland that lead to the great glimmering and shimmering green of the portal.

As we got closer we were greeted by Watch Commander Relthorn Netherwane, pouring over a map of Outland. The picture he painted of the lands beyond the gateway was not pretty at all! He went on to request our support in the battle that raged on the other side. Not quite the encouraging start we were hoping for! We agreed to report to Commander Duron once through.

As we stood in front of the portal trying to build up the courage to take the final steps into what, for us, was the completely unknown, it almost felt as if something was gazing back at us...

"Ready?" asked Aggrion and I nodded, whilst my imp, Jakpit performed a number of somersaults. Taking a deep breath Aggrion took my hand in his, then took one step forward (I took about five) and the world tilted.

The ringing in my ears began to ease off and my vision cleared and we were standing at the top of a great flight of steps looking over a wasteland.

I had thought the portal itself was daunting, but this was something else. Ahead of us an organised force was doing battle with enormous, impossible beasts. Looking up I couldn't help but ask "Has the Sky fallen?" as what I saw looked like nothing I could possibly grasp. Perhaps it was a realm like this from which I summon my minions?

We descended the steps and met with Commander Duron who greeted us with the words "Welcome to Outland, welcome to the nightmare!".

"We're definitely not in Azeroth any more Jakpit" I murmered to my imp. But we were, finally, in Outland!

The best things come in small packages

I am in two minds about whether to discuss this publically. But what is the point of a blog if I am not open with my readers?

I've mentioned Aggrion a few times in posts, but I've not gone into any details. So let me introduce him properly Aggrion is a Night Elf Warrior. I met him at the Great Forge in Ironforge and was so mesmerised by his rippling muscles as he worked at the anvil that I nearly fell into the lava pit. He, on the other hand, didn't even see me (reaching only to his knees) but he did notice my succubus, Jhorlia, oh yes he did.

I spent at least five minutes jumping up and down and shouting to attract his attention, finally resorting to a well aimed shadow bolt to the calf. He quickly agreed that we could make a good team out in the wilds and would accompany me as my buddy come bodyguard. When I say me, I think he meant Jhorlia. But as she's my minion.....

In the months since we have faced many exciting adventures and mortal dangers, defeating all manner of evil nasties and survived a few nightmare instances. Our friendship has grown and strengthened. He has shown a great deal of interest in Jhorlia, but none, what-so-ever in me! And, when we retire to the inns after a hard days adventuring I hear the jokes he tells without considering how I might feel. "I don't mind the Gnomes,I'm just worried about tripping over them." Of course I laugh along, whoever heard of a Night Elf and a Gnome!?

Yesterday Aggrion suggested a jaunt to Western Plaguelands to help get him trained up and ready to go through the Dark Portal into Outland. I of course agreed to accompany him. Well, he's not all that bright and the Western Plaguelands isn't all that safe....

I arrived at the Alliance Outpost of Chillwind Camp shortly before him. While I waited I summoned my succubus, Jhorlia to teach her some new spells I had picked up on my last visit to Ironforge after reaching level 58. We were just finishing up when Aggrion's Gryphon landed a short way from us.

Off he hops and runs over to greet us both. Noticing Jhorlia he immediately starts to chat her up. Then launches into a dancing routine in some sort or misguided attempt to impress her. Jhorlia, who has more than her fair share of admirers was about as interested in his dancing as she ever gets about anything. That is she checked her nails and slapped her thigh.

I sent Jhorlia back whence she came and summoned out my faithful imp Jakpit. We spent a good few hours terrorizing the undead of Andorhal. Summoning icky cosmic slugs and searching out some annals in the heavily guarded City Hall on behalf of the Gnome, Chromie, holed up in what used to be the town's inn.

Finally, as the sun began to set, and we were both in need of rest and food we made our way back to Chillwind camp. We chatted briefly about the days successes and our gains against the evils of the Western Plaguelands. I decided that it was time to head back to Ironforge and, blowing him a kiss, activated my hearthstone. Just as the spell neared completion I noticed that Aggrion was flirting. Not with Jhorlia, not with one of the Chillwind inhabitants. But with me....little Ary....

As soon as I registered what had happened I was surrounded by the hustle and bustle of Ironforge. Aggrion many miles away and I hadn't even heard what he'd said!

So? I ask you. What does this mean? This is the first time he has shown even the slightest interest in me! Was he just seized by a moment of madness? Brought on by the bloodlust of successful battling? Or has he finally realised that size doesn't matter? That the best things really do come in the smallest packages!?

I'll keep you up to date as more happens!

Outland here I come..

I'm level 58! Level 58! How exciting! I can now stick my head through that scary Dark Portal that everyone has been talking about in the Blasted Lands. I'm getting extremely excitable about my first trip into Outland. I have heard tales amazing creatures and fantastic loot. I just can't wait!

I hit 58 whilst exploring in the Eastern Plaguelands with Aggrion and Iskaral. We spent a good few hours helping a small ghost find her scary looking doll, collecting termites whilst dodging undead and dispatching a not insignificant number of ghouls. I couldn't help but notice a impressive increase in the havoc I was wreaking and the damage I was inflicting on whatever got in my way. I'd like to say I was 'on fire' but I think you'll find that was my enemies ;)

Aggrion has a little catching up to do, being a little under a level behind me. Well! If you will hide out in the inns of Ironforge for weeks on end what do you expect? But has promised to do his best so that we can step through the portal together now now now! I'm sure my constant encouragement of "Are you nearly there yet?" has been helping him along the way!

Outland better watch out!

Scholomance

While I was waiting for Aggrion to come out of hiding I was invited along to a guild 'fun run' in Scholomance. There was a little bit of a personality clash, with half the party wanting to take it slow and steady and the other half wanting to rush through at break-neck speed. I won't bore you with the details around this as I think I made my point about this subject in my last post!

To my absolute delight I had a fantastically lucky visit! It seemed appropriate to me that whilst the party was struggling to stay civil, I was needing on the most amazing items. The truly exciting moment came when Alanna's Embrace, an epic robe fell from the corpse of Ras Frostwhsiper . Technically I think he was already a corpse before we..er...killed him some more. But hey! Who cares!? He stopped moving and looked all squishy and crunchy.. And certainly didn't need these robes anymore!

Truthfully a fantastic priest item. But as the only caster in the party it fell to me to shout "NEED!!" and push everyone out of the way in a move that would have bargain hunters on sale day gasping in awe. For one awful moment the feral druid was considering fighting me for the item, but, taking one look at the evil glint in my eyes, she thought better of it and let the best Gnome win.

I look like a goddess in it I'm sure you'll all agree. Very little suits a gnome Warlock better than pink with white and gold detail.....okay....it doesn't quite go with my look. But it's EPIC! And if you squint and tilt your head slightly to the left the pink looks more lilac and almost matches my funky shoulders.

As if this wasn't good enough, I went on to acquire a pair of Dreadmist Wraps a perfect match for my Dreadmist Belt. Part of a set that now give me a lovely +200 armour. Not to be sniffed at. And they go just peachy with my shoulders and dress. It is, of course, essential to look great whilst you're shadow bolting everything to death!

Finally, to prove that good things come in threes I 'found' (for found read pried from the cold dead fingers of Darkmaster Gandling who thought that getting in our way was a good idea) a really nice wand. Bonecreeper Stylus is not one of those wishy washy sparkly girly wands, no, this is a wand a Warlock would be proud to wield. Just check this out.


So, I'm all tooled up! Now where to go?

Need for Speed?

It's been quite quiet for me recently, almost by accident I've gained a few levels and am half way to level 58...portal time! I have put serious play on hold though due to the absence of my warrior bodyguard, Aggrion.

I am beginning to wonder if Aggrion is actually traumatised following a recent trip to Blackrock Depths in the bowls of Blackrock Mountain. This was certainly the last time I saw him outside of Ironforge!

We were accompanied by a Rogue, Shadow Priest and Feral Druid. I probably should have seen the warning signs from the start when the druid, upon joining the party and seeing the make up asked if she should tank. No was the reply from Aggrion. Should she heal? No, was the reply from our priest Iskaral. I was half expecting her to offer to sap, pick locks and backstab, but we finally agreed that cat form dps would be best.

Of course she maintained this role for all of 5 minutes before she was launching fights in bear form, switching to cat and then out into nelf form to support Iskaral's desperate attempts to keep her and the rest of our party alive due to her hectic style. Aggrion began to cry "Give me time to build some aggro please..." over and over again until it became more mantra than request.

As this area is heavily populated with humanoids I had summoned my succubus Jhorlia (much to Aggrion's pleasure) , but she was barely able to do a thing as any attempts at crowd control were dashed as our druid rushed into combat or ignored raid markings in her hurry to set some sort of instance speed record.

You know me, I like to wreak miserable havoc wherever I go. I take pleasure in bringing down those that would oppose me. I get a pleasant shiver from seeing the corpses piling up before me. Don't get me wrong. But, I also like some organisation and control to the process. And in this run, there was none.

As the Rogue tried to get a sap in and Aggrion tried to maintain some levels of aggro, whilst Iskaral tried to work out which of the two tanks he needed to heal it became rapidly clear that this run would end in disaster or tears, maybe both!

I hear a lot of people shouting 'Hurry up! We can do this in 20 minutes" and I can't help but wonder at what repair cost?

Death is a part of the circle of life, especially in Azeroth where that circle keeps on spinning like a merry-go-round. If I die, I die. I don't sulk, I just run on back and pick up from where we started. But I do see it as a mini failure. To me, a good party won't wipe, or at least not through foolish errors. But the mentality of so many people seems to be that perceived speed is more important (and fun!?) than a clean, practised, chilled-out run. I'm not actually sure if you timed the two 'styles' that there would be much difference.

What I do know is that rushing in and racing about is not my style. I like to stop and smell the fresh blood. To admire the handy work of my party as we cut a path through our enemies.

I am beginning to think that I need to coax Aggrion out of the safety of Ironforge to slay the ghost of this bad experience! And maybe there's no better time than the present!